Illogicorn
by Justasimplekidfrombrooklyn
Summary: crack-song fic: Spock wake sup next to a robot unicorn and wants to get home again.  Est.Spock/Kirk. Rated M for sexual content. sorry for the sucky summary; the story's better than that XD


Hey everyone! This is my first star trek fanfic ever. and yeah, it's crack, what can i say; I've been enjoying the snow and chocolate all day, and then my friend showed me this game. It isn't a pretty combo, but i liked the outcome of it.

So without further ado, here's the story!

star trek and its characters (C) Gene roddenberry  
robot unicorn attack (C) Adult swim  
always lyrics (C) Erasure

_/lyrics/_

**Illogicorn**

_/Open your eyes I see  
Your eyes are open  
Wear no disguise for me  
Come into the open/_

He opened his eyes suddenly, as the voice had commanded him to do. Spock wasn't quite sure what had happened, but he knew this much; he wasn't where he'd been a second ago. His head hurt and he felt dizzy, as he tried to stand up. Around him wa a world of bright colour and rainbows, with suspended purple platforms everywhere, and ahead of him, he raised an eyebrow, stood a horse.

Spock walked closer, and upon inspecting the best, he saw it was not a horse at all but a unicorn, and a robot one at that.

"Highly illogical." he said to it.

The robot unicorn snorted in reply.

They stood and looked at each other, not moving or doing anything, until Spock spoke.

_/When it's cold outside  
Am I here in vain?  
Hold on to the night,  
There will be no shame/_

"It is highly illogical for me to ask this of you, but do you know the way out of here at all? I must be getting back to the enterprise, for I fear the captain will do something terrible in my absence."

The robot unicorn flopped its tail and turned so Spock could mount it, and he did so, and before he could work out what it was going to do, the unicorn rushed off. He gripped onto the rainbow coloured mane and gripped with his thighs to the robot unicorn's flank, so as not to fall off, just like Kirk had showed him to do once when they'd ridden the horse-like creatures on Cormada Centrinon

As it ran and jumped over the never ending floating purple grassed platforms, it passed many fairies which it decided to impale upon its horn. Spock found them annoying anyway; they kept yelling "hey! Listen!" at the two of them, and he found it rather quite logical that impaling them on the horn of the robot unicorn was a good idea to silence them. And whenever they came across a huge star that blocked their path, the robot unicorn would whinny and charge, creating a blazing of rainbows behind them, and smashed through the star shaped obstruction.

_/Always  
I wanna be with you  
And make believe with you  
And live in harmony, harmony, oh love/_

At first Spock felt strange. After all, he was in a very strange place, riding a totally illogical animal and he had no idea why. And there was strange music drifting on the wind too... He didn't know what it meant but it made him think of Jim Kirk. After a while, and an awful lot of running, jumping, impaling fairies and busting open star blocks, Spock felt more at ease, and he even smiled. He didn't know what the sensation was, but he eased into it, letting his emotions bubble to the surface. Heck he even began to sing along to the song, smiling like a doofus as he did so.

_/Melting the ice for me  
Jump into the ocean  
Hold back the tide I see  
Your love in motion/_

Suddenly, a very strange even occurred, even in accordance with this universe he was now in. An apparition of Captain Kirk appeared, floating next to him as the unicorn remained in motion.

"Captain, what a nice surprise to see you here." Spock smiled at him, making the captain in question raise an eyebrow.

"Spock what are you on about?" his voice sounded and his face looked confused.

Spock giggled; Kirk did look awfully cute when he was confused.

"Would you like to ride on the unicorn with me Captain? There's more than enough room for us both to ride it."

Kirk shook his head, "Spock, snap out of it! What's wrong with you?"

Spock rolled his head and laughed, his body jolting and moving with the rhythm of the unicorn's gallop; he rocked backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. It almost reminded him of the Captain's movements...

_/When it's cold outside  
Am I here in vain?  
Hold on to the night  
There will be no shame/_

Spock let out another giggle, which turned into a deep laugh of pure emotion from his diaphragm, his face going a bright green colour as blood pumped itself around his body with a furious haste. He leaned his head back, smiling to himself like a delighted puppy. The apparition of Kirk slowly disappeared, not that he noticed. Right there and then, he was thinking of cold nights in Kirk's room;

_/Always/_

movement under the sheets;

_/I wanna be with you/_

The smell of sweat on sweat;

_/And make believe with you/_

The touch of frozen ski n rubbing against molten flesh;

_/And live in harmony /_

And the harmonious moans and yips of want and need and desire; The names cried out in the night when no one could hear what was happening and were too succumbed to sleep to notice or care anyway.

_/Harmony/_

And one name slipped off of his tongue as the robot unicorn took it's final leap, soaring through the air and falling down...down...down

_/Oh love/_

"Kirk!"

McCoy looked at Jim, his face blank, and his eye twitching. Kirk stared back at him, completely red in the face with embarrassment.

"There are two things in this world I shouldn't have to hear or see. One of them is Spock...having a sex dream. The other one is hearing him yelling your name when he...finishes."

Kirk stayed quite still and quiet for a few minutes, letting the silence between them fill the room.

"We never tell him about this... and he never has chocolate again. Agreed?"

McCoy nodded in agreement.

"Yes. Agreed."


End file.
